There were once some cows who drove out to the top of a tall mesa to watch the moon rise and drink a few beers. Cow music played out of cow boom boxes and more of the herd showed up every hour. Bulls kicked up some dust and the ladies winked their heavy lashes towards the best in show. It was a blue-ribbon barn burner and everyone was having a great time.

One cow, a particularly silly Cow named Daisy, became catastrophically drunk. She let the boys do shots off milk right off her udders and boasted that she was in such fine shape she could jump over the moon. A few of her friends laughed and told her not to try, but she was determined to show them what was what. With the crowd mooing approval she got a running start to the edge of the mesa and flung herself into the night air with predictable results.

No matter how drunk you are, the laws of physics are immutable.